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Many smokers are only slightly bothered by physical symptoms
of nicotine withdrawal, but experience a lot more trouble with
the psychological symptoms of recovery. Getting over the psychological
loss can be very complex. It may even take several months for
you to restructure a lifestyle without smoking.
Our reaction to giving up smoking can be like our reaction
to death. Something dear to you is gone forever. It was something
that was dangerous, but it was something that you were used
to and liked in many ways, maybe because it made you feel
sophisticated or able to handle things or attractive or sexy.
Maybe it relaxed you and put you in a better mood.
Think of giving up smoking like the death of a close friend.
Cigarettes have been your friend. They were always there for
you. They didn’t tell you that you were making mistakes
or that you were being unreasonable. They never got angry
at you or demanding (except when you ran out in the middle
of the night). Instead, they made you feel more relaxed and
confident about what you were doing.
Almost anytime we experience a major change in our life,
we grieve for the old order before we can make room for the
new. Essentially, quitting smoking boils down to five emotional
levels that most everyone who is a long-time smoker faces.
And they are: denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and acceptance
Denial: Denial is our mind’s first way of protecting
us from a sudden change or loss. People who lose a friend
or family member say they feel numb. This is what we call
a psychological defense mechanism. All mentally healthy people
have this defense. For a smoker, this means that, although
you know the importance of quitting, you may not want to believe
it. Here are some common denial statements:
“I know I should quit, but I’m not sure I want
to.”
“Cigarettes don’t affect my health like they do
others. I’m not huffing and puffing.”
“Cigarettes haven’t been proven harmful.”
“I’m not addicted.”
“This quitting thing is easy - I can do it anytime,
just not today.”
You’ve already started the quitting process, so you’ve
gone past this denial stage. Or have you? Have you found yourself
thinking things like:
“If I’m having trouble quitting, it wouldn’t
be so terrible to go back to smoking.”
“Hey, it’s just not a good time for me. I can
do this again …”
“I’m young. By the time I get old enough to get
lung cancer, they’ll have a cure.”
“I keep my weight down and I use seatbelts and I don’t
drink too much, so one ‘vice’ isn’t going
to do me in.”
These are attempts to deny the problem rather than deal with
it. We all do it. But you don’t want to be talked into
a mistake by this human tendency.
Psychological
Recovery Stages of Quitting Smoking: Part 2 (Anger, Depression)
Anger: Anger often surfaces when we begin to accept a loss.
Most smokers are angry about having to make a change in their
lives. They feel their “friend” was taken away
unfairly. They’re angry because they feel singled out.
Some typical angry thoughts people have may be:
“Why me? I’m mad I started and mad I had to quit.”
“Why didn’t someone tell us cigarettes are so
harmful?”
“Lucky nonsmokers. They have it easy.”
“Why does it have to be so hard to quit?”
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