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Anger: Anger often surfaces when we begin to accept a loss.
Most smokers are angry about having to make a change in their
lives. They feel their “friend” was taken away unfairly.
They’re angry because they feel singled out. Some typical
angry thoughts people have may be:
“Why me? I’m mad I started and mad I had to quit.”
“Why didn’t someone tell us cigarettes are so
harmful?”
“Lucky nonsmokers. They have it easy.”
“Why does it have to be so hard to quit?”
“What about people who are overweight? I don’t
see everyone getting on their case.”
Notice that each of the statements of resentment contains
a sense of having been hurt, treated unfairly, or forced to
do something really hard but without others helping very much.
All of these feelings are understandable. Smokers do have
a tough job that others don’t have. Nobody is able to
give them as much help as they might want - others don’t
have the ability to fix it for you. It may be hard to admit,
but if you can acknowledge feeling hurt and recognize that
your hurt is justified, you’ll be easier on yourself.
And talking with your friends or family about feeling bad
about giving up smoking, rather than biting their heads off,
is likely to get you more useful encouragement.
Depression: Depression and sadness often occur when we accept
the loss of our “friend.” This is especially true
when no one else seems to know our loss. People often experience
this in one of two ways:
1. A deep sense of sadness, or
2. A deep sense of deprivation You’ll realize you’re
in the depression stage if you’re thinking:
“I feel so emotional.”
“I feel so deprived.”
“Why can’t I have this one little habit?”
“Life without cigarettes is awful.”
“I feel so lonely.”
Some might call this the “ain’t it awful”
stage. You feel as though you’ve lost a good friend.
Well, you have. As with any loss, you need to take this in.
Then, when you move on, you can recognize what holes you have
to fill, needs you have to meet in new ways. Don’t resist
this stage or think it’s crazy to mourn the loss of
a cigarette. Take some time and give yourself the right just
to feel sad.
Psychological
Recovery Stages of Quitting Smoking: Part 3 (Bargaining, Acceptance)
Bargaining: Bargaining is the stage where smokers want to
postpone the inevitable. You want to do all sorts of good
things in return for a little lightening of the load of giving
up cigarettes. You may try making deals with yourself like:
“I think I have the worst licked. If I have just one
cigarette, I’ll get right back on track afterward and
I won’t do it again.”
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